What’s the purpose of thinking positively?

On June 2, 2021July 9, 2021 By queeenvkIn Help, Inspiration, self helpLeave a comment

**Click here to listen to me read out this post on my Podcast instead**

The title is a little dramatic. But sometimes our existence in our surrounding environment can feel awful.

Think about how perspective can make things seem more awful on one day compared with the next. Swing that perspective in another direction and things don’t seem so bad. Your boss was piling on the work without acknowledging your amazing report? You are affected by the person’s behaviour but you aren’t the cause of it. Perspective. It’s not your fault, you are amazing. Now you can communicate this with your boss or you can use the extra work to show that you deserve a promotion. You are in control of your present. See my previous post for why the present moment is so powerful and how to get there.

You are in control of your happiness if you want it. Hear me out. Happiness isn’t a destination, it’s a temporary feeling you can choose to enjoy. All emotions are temporary. Even anger and sadness. Yes, I suffer from depression and I’m going to share a brain training exercise that anyone with any level of mental heath can utilise. It takes pratice and won’t be easy to begin with. Your mind is so powerful that it can make new pathways when you keep pratising a skill until you master it.

Let’s practise right now.

Do a body scan and check in with yourself on how you’re feeling right now. If your shoulders are tensed and you’re biting your nails you might be feeling stressed or anxious. Relax your tense muscles and breathe deeply. Shallow breaths are a sign that you are not relaxed. You’re allowed to feel any emotions or think any thoughts but when any of them come into your mind imagine them floating back out of your mind. They can float down a stream as a leaf floating on the water’s surface, they can flow out of your body as you exhale. When you’re just noticing your breath or the sounds around you or just enjoying being in your body, that’s when you are in the present moment. You have found it! Well done.

Now that you have found the present you can choose your next thought or action or your next feeling. Feel happiness if you want to. Be without fear or pain if you want to.

The next part is a little more advanced but give it a go.

Look at the present you as though you are looking at yourself, a step away from yourself and outside of your own mind. Without your emotions. Look at yourself with kindness, as though you’re looking at your best friend. You want that person to be happy, content and safe.

Of course this all helps if you don’t struggle with self hatred…actually I do experience that myself so this is a helpful tool to get perspective on how I am treating myself. This tool can help you too. I have also felt the benefits of doing, what some people call, loving kindness meditation. Basically you send love and gratitude to yourself, your friends and family, then to your enemies and finally to everyone in the world. It’s a bit challenging when you’re mad at some people but to let go of that and feel gratitude and kindness towards those people is incredibly therapeutic. It’s easier if you remember that all people are like us in that they are also searching to be without pain or fear in each moment.

Surround yourself with positive thoughts and the positive things will continue to happen to you. It’s not that the number of positive situations increases but your perception of each situation changes the outcome. Perspective. It’s all perspective.

Mindfulness Anytime Anywhere

On May 30, 2021June 1, 2021 By queeenvkIn Environment, Health, Help, Inspiration, self help1 Comment

Tip: At the bottom of this page you can hear me read this blog post out for you in the podcast player. Some other blog posts are available too.

Mindfulness is the art of being in the present moment. I say art because it’s something that can be practised and honed. You may not be an expert at mindfulness meditation but you can be if you want to be. The trick is to practise. Mindfulness is a brain training exercise that will benefit you in surprising ways. When I first heard about mindfulness meditation I thought it was only for hipsters, hippies and monks. True! I had no idea what it involved or how it could help me. Now I know it can help anyone. Mindfulness is beneficial for children, teens, adults and those who don’t identify with any particular age group.

If mindfulness is being in the present moment, how do I get there? And stay there?

It’s all too easy to worry about the future or be upset by thoughts of the past. There is a better, more productive way to live. In the present. There are some meditation techniques to help you find the present moment in your mind. Try some of these techniques and figure out what works best for you. It could even be a combination of techniques that you find most helpful.

Use your senses

The five senses can be used to gently move your focus back to the present moment.

Touch: Bring your focus back to the present moment by feeling your way there. You don’t need special tools to do this. Your clothing may be soft or you may have a pet at home. Feel some fabric or the soft fur (or scales) of your beloved pet and focus on how your fingers receive this sensation. Is it smooth? Is it warm? Acknowledge any thoughts and feelings you may have. Let yourself feel those feelings and bring your thoughts back to the absolute present moment. There are no worries of the past or future when you are focused on the present. Another form of touch is the feeling of your feet on the ground or your body against your chair. There’ll be more on that sensation later.

Smell and taste: Ask yourself what smells can you detect right now. Are there any tastes on your tongue? Mindful eating is the perfect way to enjoy your meals because you will fully engage with the flavours and sensations of the food. Breathe in the aroma of your cup of tea or coffee or cocoa.

Hearing: Focus on the sounds reaching your ears within in the room or nearby area. Then extend your awareness to the sounds outside of the room or area. Acknowledge the sounds without judgment. If your thoughts begin to wander show yourself patience and allow your thoughts to drift back to the present moment.

Sight: Whether your eyes are open or closed you can focus on what they are seeing. While they’re closed you can acknowledge whether the environment is bright or dim. Or visualise a candle, which is a common meditation technique, and see how long you can focus on the imagined flame. If you need to have your eyes open, such as during a walk or while driving, you can use the world around you to stay present. The next time you’re out for a walk try a walking meditation to stay in the mindul present. During a walking meditation you can ask yourself, what’s the sky up to today? Are there any clouds or birds or sky writers? Acknowledge your surroundings and your position within them, how tall the trees are, how the leaves move in the breeze. You can add in the other senses too, focus on how warm or cool the air feels on your skin and what smells are reaching your nose.

Grounding

If you have read the paragraph on the sense of touch above you will have an idea of this one already. Grounding involves feeling your connection to the Earth through your feet or your body. You can do this with socks or bare feet or in shoes while sitting or you can be lying down or sitting upright. The point is to envision your connection to the ground while feeling the physical connection through your body. Focus on the space at which you feel your body touching the ground. Remain in the present moment by just being and feeling your existence physically. You are present in this place at this time. No past or future concerns are harming you and they have no power in your present moment.

Breathing and heartbeat

Your breath and your heartbeat are always there. Often it’s not quiet enough to hear either of them, but it is normally possible to feel them. You can feel your own pulse by pressing your forefinger and middle finger (not your thumb as it has its own pulse) against the inside of your wrist or your neck next to your windpipe. Sometimes it’s difficult to find your pulse. I find it easier to find my breath. Sometimes when I’m trying to sleep I hear my heartbeat is too fast because I was WORRYING about the past or the future. In those moments I tell myself I can learn to slow my heartbeat by focusing on my breathing. They seem to go hand in hand. With enough practice you can have this other level of control over your body.

Breathing deep, soothing breaths is a common way to calm yourself during moments of stress that have caused an increase in your heart rate. You can also focus on the calming breaths as you breathe them to bring yourself to the present moment. The breath is very powerful in this way. It’s something you can always bring your awareness back to. Observe yourself in the moment just breathing. Your eyes can be closed if it’s safe to do so. If any thoughts or emotions come to your mind you can let them pass by and float away with your breath. Let your focus be only on your breath and how it feels flowing in and out. Be in the present moment with your breath. No worries or emotions can hurt you in the present moment.

Curiosity

When was the last time you were a beginner at something? Or looked at something you’ve never seen before? When you learn something new you focus on each step carefully, individually. Once you’ve mastered a skill you no longer think twice about performing it. You don’t look at the steps closely or consider how each part comes together, it is just assumed. The world around you can also blur together as you assume the common objects you see every day. Un-blur your mind and focus on an object like you are a baby and have no understanding of the object. Create curiosity within your mind and come back to the present by really fully focusing on an object or a skill such as hula hooping or throwing a ball. Consider how it feels but without emotion or judgement. No judgement of causes or effects. Just see it for what it is in the moment and enjoy every one of those moments. You are present. You exist and it is amazing.

Key points:

Remember to allow yourself to feel emotions and acknowledge your thoughts when they wander. Be kind with yourself, no need to be discouraged when you stray from the present moment.

It’s okay to feel anger, happiness, all of the good and bad emotions are valid. But remind yourself that good or bad, the emotions are only temporary. You can control how you feel. The past cannot harm you.

The worries of the future are holding you back from focusing on your present moment. The future will happen whether or not you fixate on it. Fixation on the future cannot help you prepare for it. You have total control of your body in the present moment. You have the power to make it however you want it to be right now. You choose if you stand up and breathe in the fresh air or stay where you are. You choose whether you sit in sadness and worry about what others think about you. Are you worrying about those people? No. Then they aren’t worrying about you. You’re here in the present moment, make it whatever YOU want it to be.

Side note: Every other fellow human is also living and existing on the Earth just like you, searching for contentment and safety. If you or they are displaying angry emotions then it is because you/they are scared or hurt. We are able to choose how we react if we are wholly in the present moment. We are powerful enough to create the present that we want to exist in. Remain present, ask yourself why you are feeling a particular emotion and you can choose whether you alter your behaviour based on your anger, hurt or fear. Or choose to breathe and stay in control of your present.

Thank you so much for reading. Be kind and be present.

Visit my Youtube channel for more Full Cup Wellness online. Visit my store on Storenvy for my crochet creations.

Youtube: queeenvk

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Allow harassment victims to speak up without judgement

On September 21, 2018 By queeenvkIn HelpLeave a comment

When someone is ready to open up about harassment (sexual or otherwise) they have experienced from another person DO NOT ever by any means respond with a

“But he/she’s really nice”

“They’re always nice to me”

“That doesn’t sound right. They’re so nice. They probably didn’t mean it”.

Why?

Because every time you respond in that way you’re making the victim feel COMPLETELY invalidated.

Victims already often find it difficult to speak up against harassment. If you invalidated their experience, do you think they would have the confidence to speak up again?

Do you ever wonder why victims of harassment speak up so infrequently?
Do you blame victims for not speaking up in the first place?

If you answered yes to either of those questions then you are not understanding how damaging it is to invalidate a victim. And even worse, it is damaging to not believe him or her.

If a person is finally ready to disclose their experience of harassment all you need to do is listen.

Listen well.

Be prepared with knowledge – Strokes

On September 5, 2018September 3, 2018 By queeenvkIn Health1 Comment

Australian National Stroke Week is this week so let’s have a spotlight on stroke awareness.

National Stroke Week is the Stroke Foundation’s annual awareness campaign. National Stroke Week runs from 3-10 September. It is an annual event which aims to raise the awareness of stroke within the community and encourage Australians to take action to prevent stroke. Throughout the week, all Australians are encouraged to:

• Be aware of what stroke is, how to recognise a stroke and what to do

• Live healthy to reduce the risk of stroke

• Get a regular health check

What is a stroke?

A stroke happens when blood supply to the brain is interrupted. Blood is carried to the brain by blood vessels called arteries. Blood contains oxygen and important nutrients for your brain cells. Blood may be interrupted or stop moving through an artery, because the artery is blocked (ischaemic stroke) or bursts (haemorrhagic stroke). When brain cells do not get enough oxygen or nutrients, they die at a rapid rate.

More than 80% of strokes can be prevented

How do you know if someone is having a stroke? Think F.A.S.T.

F: Face. Check their face. Has their mouth drooped?

A: Arms. Can they lift both arms?

S: Speech. Is their speech slurred? Do they understand you?

T: Time is critical. If you see any of these signs call 000 straight away.

A stroke is always a medical emergency. The longer a stroke remains untreated, the greater the chance of stroke-related brain damage.

For more information on stroke make sure you contact the Stroke Foundation. If you or someone you know has experience a stroke, this foundation are a fantastic source of information, and can refer you on to specialised programs for support, treatment and prevention. Go to strokefoundation.com.au.

Stroke is one of Australia’s biggest killers and a leading cause of disability

Reduce your risk

There are some stroke risk factors that you cannot do anything about, such as older age, family history, being male or already having a prior stroke. But for most Australians, you can reduce your risk and help prevent stroke by taking some simple steps:

Make time for a health check for stroke risk factors

Know your blood pressure and keep it down. You can control your blood pressure by changing your diet and lifestyle, particularly through regular exercise and maintaining a healthy weight. The lower your blood pressure, the lower your risk of stroke. Your doctor can help you to regularly check your blood pressure or ask our friendly staff to check for you today.

Our bodies need a hormone called insulin to turn sugar from our food into energy. If you have type 2 diabetes, your body becomes resistant to insulin and it does not make enough insulin to keep up. This means your body has difficulty absorbing the sugars from food. If you have diabetes it is important to keep your blood sugars within a recommended range. Consult with your doctor or diabetes educator about management of your blood sugar level. Irregular pulse or irregular heartbeat is known as atrial fibrillation, or AF. To find out if you have atrial fibrillation, a doctor or nurse will check your pulse. If it feels irregular, they may refer you for more tests. If you experience symptoms such as palpitations, faintness, breathlessness or weakness, it is important to see a doctor for diagnosis and treatment.

Did you know stroke kills more women than breast cancer and more men than prostate cancer?

Take charge of your own health and live a healthy lifestyle

Keep active. Being inactive can increase your risk of type 2 diabetes, overweight and obesity, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Over half of Australian adults do not do the recommended amount of physical activity. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate intensity physical activity on most (preferably all) days of the week.

Eat healthy. Healthy eating is important for reducing your risk of stroke. Obesity, being overweight or having too much body fat can also be a contribution and affects a number of risk factors. Your diet should contain vegetables, fruit and grain, lean meats, poultry and fish, reduced fat milk and yoghurt. Substitute sweets for nuts or fresh fruit and steer clear from sugary drinks.

Quit smoking. Smoking doubles your risk of stroke. Within a month after a person stops smoking, blood pressure returns to its normal range. The risk of heart attack and stroke starts to drop immediately after a person stops using tobacco products, and can drop by as much as half after one year. After fifteen years your risk of stroke and heart attack is almost the same as that of a person who has never smoked.

Reduce alcohol consumption. Drinking large amounts of alcohol increases your risk of stroke through increased blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, obesity and irregular heartbeat. Drink no more than two standard alcoholic drinks on any day to reduce harm from alcohol-related disease or injury.

The Full Cup Wellness

Tag: awareness