Tag: positive mindset

What’s the purpose of thinking positively?

On By queeenvkIn Help, Inspiration, self helpLeave a comment

**Click here to listen to me read out this post on my Podcast instead**

The title is a little dramatic. But sometimes our existence in our surrounding environment can feel awful.

Think about how perspective can make things seem more awful on one day compared with the next. Swing that perspective in another direction and things don’t seem so bad. Your boss was piling on the work without acknowledging your amazing report? You are affected by the person’s behaviour but you aren’t the cause of it. Perspective. It’s not your fault, you are amazing. Now you can communicate this with your boss or you can use the extra work to show that you deserve a promotion. You are in control of your present. See my previous post for why the present moment is so powerful and how to get there.

You are in control of your happiness if you want it. Hear me out. Happiness isn’t a destination, it’s a temporary feeling you can choose to enjoy. All emotions are temporary. Even anger and sadness. Yes, I suffer from depression and I’m going to share a brain training exercise that anyone with any level of mental heath can utilise. It takes pratice and won’t be easy to begin with. Your mind is so powerful that it can make new pathways when you keep pratising a skill until you master it.

Let’s practise right now.

Do a body scan and check in with yourself on how you’re feeling right now. If your shoulders are tensed and you’re biting your nails you might be feeling stressed or anxious. Relax your tense muscles and breathe deeply. Shallow breaths are a sign that you are not relaxed. You’re allowed to feel any emotions or think any thoughts but when any of them come into your mind imagine them floating back out of your mind. They can float down a stream as a leaf floating on the water’s surface, they can flow out of your body as you exhale. When you’re just noticing your breath or the sounds around you or just enjoying being in your body, that’s when you are in the present moment. You have found it! Well done.

Now that you have found the present you can choose your next thought or action or your next feeling. Feel happiness if you want to. Be without fear or pain if you want to.

The next part is a little more advanced but give it a go.

Look at the present you as though you are looking at yourself, a step away from yourself and outside of your own mind. Without your emotions. Look at yourself with kindness, as though you’re looking at your best friend. You want that person to be happy, content and safe.

Of course this all helps if you don’t struggle with self hatred…actually I do experience that myself so this is a helpful tool to get perspective on how I am treating myself. This tool can help you too. I have also felt the benefits of doing, what some people call, loving kindness meditation. Basically you send love and gratitude to yourself, your friends and family, then to your enemies and finally to everyone in the world. It’s a bit challenging when you’re mad at some people but to let go of that and feel gratitude and kindness towards those people is incredibly therapeutic. It’s easier if you remember that all people are like us in that they are also searching to be without pain or fear in each moment.

Surround yourself with positive thoughts and the positive things will continue to happen to you. It’s not that the number of positive situations increases but your perception of each situation changes the outcome. Perspective. It’s all perspective.

Where to find your motivation

On By queeenvkIn Health, Help, Inspiration3 Comments

How do you keep going when you’re only halfway through your workout and feel yourself slipping? Where do you find the drive to keep going after an entire day of work then coming home only to cook and clean? How do you find the inner strength to continue job hunting following rejection after rejection?

When you’re running low on motivation what do you do to keep going?

Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. –Henry Ford

Henry Ford may be on to something here. When you start believing that you can’t do it you’ve already begun to fail. The power of suggestion is stronger than many people realise. Even if it’s yourself that is doing the suggesting.

But then how do we get out of a rut? Or a slump? Or a pool of stagnant water that is the metaphor for your current career situation?

Remember, we all face obstacles. It’s how you approach them that sets you apart.

The most productive way to face an obstacle is to identify what the true, deeper cause is, ask yourself what is the real de-motivator in your personal situation?

Fear

We can most easily lose motivation through fear (also recognised as anxiety). To get through this obstacle, address the fear, acknowledge your fear or fight/flight response is trying to protect you. Give it a little nod of thanks for trying to protect you, after all, your anxiety means well. Then question your fears by asking why. Why am I afraid to ask for the promotion at work? Why am I afraid to start training for the marathon?

Setting the wrong goals

When we set the wrong goals we rapidly lose motivation. Think about the goals you made back in the new year. Were the too big? Were they too vague? Tackle smaller goals to lead to your final outcome and you’ll keep up that momentum with ease, especially when you see all of the milestones you’ve been reaching. Each small victory can spur you on to the next one.

If your goals are vague and lack clarity you risk not having a clear plan to move forward. An easy fix is to reframe and review your goals so that you have a defined path to follow. If your plan is “lose weight” try and make it more clear by setting a weekly or monthly weight target. If your plan is to “run a marathon” start by setting small training goals such as a defined distance per week. Adjust your goal to your personal situation and resources and you are already on the path to success!

Burn out

You might be smashing out goal after goal and reframing, reassessing your goals as needed but then you suddenly crash. We can lose momentum or completely collapse if we don’t look after our physical, mental, emotional health while we’re working so hard. With a lack of self care we run the risk of burning out. Too exhausted? Grieving? Giving too much of yourself? Allow yourself time to slow down, grieve and recover. We’re human and other humans will understand if you need to pull back just a bit, before setting off again towards those important goals.

Boredom

It’s easy to forget that a lack of challenge can sap our motivation. We get bored when we’re no longer challenged. Have you become autonomous with a new skill? Challenge yourself, learn a new skill, advance your current skills, aim for a higher level. Always review your goals.

Mindset

A negative mindset is like poison. Consider the Henry Ford quote again. If you believe you’ll fail you’ve already set yourself up for failure. If the reason you’re no longer utilising your pricey gym membership is because you’ve convinced yourself you’re too tired or drained, try to reframe your thoughts and your mindset. Remind yourself of all of the positives, the benefits, the pros to getting up earlier or getting home later after a gym session. This can spark motivation. If you don’t have an already diagnosed health reason for feeling too tired and drained to attain those goals then you’ve just cheated yourself by making an excuse. Future you will thank you for the positive mindset!

If your goals are making you feel tired just by thinking about them that’s a sign that you need to cultivate a positive mindset. Perhaps it’s a combination of the above de-motivators. Feeling too lethargic to take action towards your goals can also indicate you’re bored, burnt out or that your goals lack clarity.

Take the time to listen to what your mind is really telling you, then go for gold.