Tag: medication

The werewolf inside

On By queeenvkIn Health, InspirationLeave a comment

Content warning: Depictions of depression, suicidal ideation, anxiety and invasive thoughts.

On this day, All Hallows Eve 2018, it’s time to share with you my own personal horror story.

Every 28 days the affliction takes over.

It begins innocuous enough, everything is seemingly fine. Sometimes there appear to be no hints of what is to come, that is the most frightening part. The unknown.

For about 1.5 – 2 weeks every month I feel amazing. As long as I keep an eye on my mental health, everything is running smoothly.

Then, slowly unnoticeably, the change begins. The werewolf inside lurks beneath the surface, ready to take control of my rational mind.

It starts small: unexplained feelings of unease in the pit of my stomach (anxiety); unwelcome and unfamiliar thoughts invading my brain (depression).

For 7 – 10 days these symptoms rise to a crescendo and the monster breaks through, taking control. As I cower aside while the creature appears in full form all I hear from its mind into mine is:

Destroy yourself.

You’re worthless.

I believe it. And it warps all of my thoughts and impacts on every interaction between myself and others.

Eventually the pain of anxiety from deep within my gut becomes unbearable. I must make it stop. It has to stop. The physical pain and the emotional pain reach a fever pitch.

I need to make it stop.

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In one of my most favourite novels, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, we discover that the Wolfsbane Potion is used to relieve the symptoms of lycanthropy (or “werewolfism”). It is not a cure, as no cure exists for lycanthropy, only treatment is available.

I am one of the 3-8% of menstruating humans who have been diagnosed with PMDD. My menstrual cycle controls my life, my behaviour, my thoughts and my feelings.

My personal Wolfsbane Potion is SSRI antidepressant medication.

If you think you, or someone close to you, may have undiagnosed PMDD a GP can help you find the most suitable treatment available. All it takes is a conversation with your GP.

Please know that there is relief available and if you need advice please comment below or email me at fullcupwellness1@gmail.com.

The shame of being medicated

On By queeenvkIn Health, Help2 Comments

To remove the stigma around taking medication we should begin by opening up the conversation of mental illness and the treatment of that illness. The taboo around taking medication can cause many people feel that they are unable to go to the doctor for help or are unaware of the help that is available to them. It can even prevent a person from taking the medication that is prescribed to them.

For years I didn’t know I needed antidepressant medication. I didn’t even know I had PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder. Think PMS but on steroids). When I finally found the courage to speak to a doctor about my symptoms I received a diagnosis. After more than 15 years of struggling through the symptoms I finally had an answer! At first I avoided buying the prescribed Zoloft by trying out naturopathic remedies. However, the nature of my disorder is too severe and pharmaceutical antidepressants are required.

I prefer to be open and honest with people about my condition and the treatment because if we don’t speak about these topics then the stigma will always remain. Women who have undiagnosed PMDD may benefit from learning that such a condition exists! People who don’t have the disorder can have a better understanding of what symptoms and side effects that patients of the disorder encounter. This is true for all illnesses that are not well understood.

To help others see that there does not need to be a stigma around taking medication I love this analogy of comparing medication to eyeglasses.

A person can live their life with blurry vision, not knowing they need glasses. Life can be difficult when living with poor eyesight and the person may struggle significantly until they find out they need glasses. Once they are prescribed a pair of glasses life is much easier and clearer.

If we consider the same for medication, it doesn’t seem so scary or taboo. We just need to put our glasses on every morning (or with meals or before bed).

If we don’t open up the conversation about mental health then nothing will change.

Please comment below with your experiences with mental health and medication. #breakthetaboo